Tears in Heaven
by ReluctantSlashFan
Summary: It's Mike's worst fear come true... -This is not slash
1. Chapter 1

Mike's phone pierced his ears, pulling him from his dream. He snorted awake, blindly snatching the phone off his nightstand. Without looking at the screen, he answered with a hoarse, "Hello?"

"_Mr. Ross?"_ he recognized the voice on the other end, but he was still half asleep and couldn't quite put a face and name to the voice like he usually could.

"Yeah," he responded sitting up, running his free hand through his hair.

"_Mr. Ross, this is Dr. Massey from the nursing home…" _Now Mike was awake.

"What's wrong?" his heart was thudding against his chest, his breath quickening. He was jumping to conclusions, this could be anything. Maybe he forgot to pay his Grammy's bill. Doubtful sure, but he had been working a lot lately; he had his mind on other things. Maybe she needed to be moved to another wing. Not so doubtful, actually it would be the third time she was moved in two months. It could be any number of things, he was just being negative. Or he hoped…

"_We're sorry Mr. Ross. We did all we could…"_ Mike was sure Dr. Massey kept talking, but he didn't hear any of it. She was dead, his Grammy was dead. He was supposed to go see her yesterday after work, but Harvey kept him late to finalize their game plan for the court case today. He was going to see her today during his lunch break. That was out of the question now…

His throat tightened, his vision blurring, but he refused to shed a tear. Not yet. So, to distract himself, he tuned back into what Massey was saying: "…_official autopsy to pinpoint the cause of death, but in my professional opinion it looks like a heart attack. You're welcome to start making arrangements and we should release the body…"_ oh God, she was talking about Grammy's body. _His_ Grammy's body. The woman who practically raised him since the age of ten.

Massey spoke a few more words before ending the call. Mike hung up his own phone, tossing it on his bed. He ran both hands down his face, his fingertips coming away wet. His Grammy was gone. She was gone just like his Pop-pop, his mother, his father. He was completely alone. He didn't even have Trevor to call anymore…

He could always call Jenny, but they hadn't spoken much since he decided to _just_ be friends with her. He tried to make it work with her, he really did, but something just wouldn't let him take that next step. Or someone…

He shook his head, pushing back thoughts of Jenny and Rachel. They weren't going to bring his Grammy back. Nothing was going to bring his Grammy back…

**Suits**

**1996…**

_It had been a week since his parents had been killed. Some gun wielding psycho shooting both when the mugging he was attempting went horribly wrong._

_ Mike hadn't been sleeping well since his parents' death. He had been too busy trying to sort through his emotions. Trying to determine just how he felt in the whirlwind that was his brain._

_ He knew he felt angry. Angry at the gunman for taking his parents. Angry at the cops for not finding him yet. Angry at his parents for leaving him and Grammy. A big, ball of anger that pierced his heart and clenched his stomach._

_ On top of his anger, he was also sad. They were his parents. Granted, he hadn't been getting along with his dad lately, but James Ross was still his father. He still loved him. And Marigold, his mother, with her honey, gold hair and gray eyes. He missed them so fiercely that it hurt worse than the anger._

_ He also felt confused. He was ten, read more books than kids years older than him, but could not figure out how God could take his parents from him. He was only a kid, he still needed them. He didn't understand why the bully Allan Hannah got to keep his parents, yet he didn't. It wasn't fair._

_ He wasn't aware when he started crying, but his cries aroused his Grammy. She came into his room, a worried expression on her face, and sat on the edge of his bed. She gathered him into her arms, running a hand through his blond hair, and shushed him._

_ Once he calmed down, he pulled away from his Grammy, running a hand across his face. He took a deep, shuddering breath and whispered, "Why did they have to die, Grammy?"_

_ "It was their time to go, Michael," Grammy responded softly._

_ "But why?" Mike knew he sounded like a five-year-old, but at the time he didn't care. He wanted answers and he wanted them now._

_ "I wish I knew, Michael. I really do…"_

**Suits**

**Present Day…**

He didn't know how long he sat, locked in his own thoughts, but his phone rang again, pulling him back to reality. He picked it up, checked the screen, and groaned. He didn't have time for Harvey, not after what had happened. But he knew Harvey would just keep calling until he answered, so Mike took a breath, composed himself, and answered, "Yeah?"

"_Where the hell are you_?" Harvey's voice demanded. Mike ran his hand down his face again, glancing at his alarm clock, eyes widening at the time. He'd lost nearly an hour and a half.

"I am sorry, Harvey. It's just…"

"_I don't want to hear your Goddamn excuses. Ray'll be pulling up to your apartment in fifteen." _And Harvey hung up before Mike could say anything else. So, telling Harvey was out of the question.

Mike got out of bed, wondering how in the hell he was going to participate in a court case when his life had just been ripped apart. He'd be lucky if he were dressed by the time Ray picked him up. _This day is going to suck…_

**Suits**

Harvey glared at the building Mike lived in when Ray pulled up. Three floors, no elevator, in one of the worst parts of town. It was a wonder the kid hadn't been robbed, yet.

Harvey shook his head. He didn't have time to think about where Mike lived. The kid was late, they needed to be in court in half an hour, and Harvey was ten seconds away from storming into the atrocious building and dragging him out by his skinny tie.

The door opened, Mike slipping out. There was something off about the kid, something Harvey didn't like, but, again, he didn't have the time to dwell on trivial things. Perhaps after the case.

"Took you long enough," he said the moment Mike got in the car. Harvey's stomach tightened when Mike didn't respond in his usual snarky way. In fact, other than brief eye contact, something hidden deep in Mike's baby blues that Harvey couldn't quite pinpoint, the kid made no effort to acknowledge Harvey at all.

_Later,_ Harvey silently snapped at himself when he made to ask Mike what was wrong. So, he looked away from his associate, tapped Ray on the shoulder, and they started driving again.

The whole way to the courthouse, however, Harvey couldn't get the nagging little voice out of the back of his head. The voice that sounded like Donna. '_There's something wrong with him, Harvey. Ask him, ask him, ask him…'_

He tried to push the voice away, but it was like trying to push the real Donna away. Harvey couldn't. But they had a case to win, he didn't have time to get into Mike's personal life. Again, he'd wait until after they returned to the firm. Besides, Mike would be okay until then. It's not like it was something life changing…

**Suits**

Mike barely paid any attention to Harvey as he went round and round with the other lawyer. It was a fierce battle of sharp tongues and even sharper wits. But in the end one man was victorious.

Harvey Specter was extra smug as they got back into Ray's car. Mike offered him a weak smile, but nothing else. He laid his head against the window as the car jolted forward, not quite catching the worried glance Harvey flashed his way.

"You okay?" Harvey asked quietly, his voice just a pitch higher than the soothing tones of Eric Clapton coming from Ray's speakers.

"What?" Mike lifted his head to meet Harvey's eyes, spotting the flash of concern before it evaporated.

"I asked if you were okay," Harvey responded slowly, speaking to Mike as if he were dense.

"Be careful Harvey. Someone might accuse you of caring," Mike retorted, his voice more bitter than sarcastic. He didn't want to talk about it, not when it was so fresh in his mind. Perhaps later, but not now.

"Not caring, just curious. You're never this quiet," Harvey said his eyes flashing again, this time in annoyance, at Mike's comment.

"Can we not talk? Please," Mike questioned, really not in the mood for their usual banter. Something new flashed across Harvey's face, something Mike couldn't pinpoint, but the older man sighed and nodded. The rest of the car ride was filled with a heavy, uncomfortable silence…

**Suits**

**Blame this on the fact that this show is so damn good, the characters are so frigging awesome, and I just can't stop publishing stuff. And I needed to get this out of my system.**

**So, let me know if I should continue, I do not own these characters, and I've gotta go.**

**See ya...**


	2. Chapter 2

When Ray pulled up to Pearson/Hardman, Mike threw his door open before the car could come to a complete stop and was out of the vehicle before Harvey could say or do anything.

Harvey watched him go for a few seconds before opening his own door and chasing after the kid. "What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded keeping pace with Mike's quick strides.

"Leave me alone, Harvey," Mike snapped quickening his pace just a bit. Harvey could only guess his goal was to disappear into the group of associates gathered in the atrium, waiting for their ID's to get checked by the guard. Harvey could not have that.

So, he grabbed Mike's shoulder, whirling him around so he faced him, "Tell me what's wrong?

"I'm fine," Mike retorted yanking free of Harvey's grasp. "Don't worry about it." and he stormed into the building, pushing past Gregory when he tried to talk to him. The smug grin on the other associates face wilted when Mike didn't take the bait.

Harvey looked around, wondering if anyone saw what had just happened, but he was pretty sure it was missed. Associates could be oblivious sometimes. Besides, he had a reputation to uphold, being seen _arguing _with Mike would not go over lightly.

Harvey started toward the door, trying to recall any complaints Mike may have had in the past few days. Maybe one of the associates had been bothering him yesterday. But, Harvey had been with him until two, and he didn't seem moody then. In fact, he was actually more chatty than usual last night.

_Come on, Harvey. You read people. Read Mike. _Harvey thought back to Mike's face. The kid hadn't looked pissed, so much as upset when he had been yelling at Harvey. Very upset. Like the way Harvey's little sister looked when her dog died. Like he was about to burst into…

"Stupid," Harvey whispered rushing into the building, his phone already in his hand. When his assistant picked up he said, "Donna, I need you to do me a favor…"

**Suits**

Harvey lingered around Donna's desk longer than usual, waiting for his assistant to get through at the nursing home. He was hoping he was wrong, that Mike was just upset because Jenny…? Julie…? Jamie…? Whatever her name was had broken up with him. _Were they even together…?_

_I don't care_, Harvey berated himself. He needed to keep his mind off his trivial thoughts. He had to find out what the hell was wrong with his associate. And it wasn't because he cared. It was because Mike was a reflection of him, and if his mood got him into a fight Harvey would be reprimanded for it.

"I'm trying," Donna said testily at the look he threw her. He had a feeling she was three seconds away from throwing her coffee in his face. He usually didn't linger like this, but he wanted answers damn it. Sue him…

"Hello, this is Donna Ryan, Harvey Specter's assistant." she listened for a second. "Mike Ross's boss…" Donna's eyebrows furrowed, her usual cool face breaking out into concern. "When?" she listened again, nodding. "I realize you can't give me the details, but I just…" Donna nodded again. "I was just…" she sighed heavily. "Thanks anyway."

Harvey flashed her a questioning look when she hung up the phone. However, she didn't need to verbally respond. Her shining eyes did it for her.

"When?' he asked clearing his throat, glancing over his shoulder, almost expecting Mike to wander down the hall.

"They wouldn't tell me. I'm not family." She tried to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but Harvey could still detect it. She played a good game, Donna, but Harvey could tell she had a soft spot for his associate. "Why didn't he tell you?"

Harvey made to answer, but he couldn't. Not because he didn't know the answer, that was one answer he couldn't deny no matter how hard he tried, but because to admit it aloud would make him sound like the world's biggest asshole.

He had blatantly ignored what was going on with Mike, needing to get to the courthouse. And at the time, yeah, he was more preoccupied with winning than Mike, but if he'd just asked 'what was wrong' before he started jumping on him…

"Where is Mike?" Donna asked pulling Harvey back to reality.

"Last I checked he was at his desk."

"Go talk to him."

'What?"

"Go talk to him, Harvey," Donna repeated with less patience than usual. "He's needs someone."

"Why me? Why not you?" She didn't verbally respond, but the glare she threw him reminded him of six years ago, when he got drunk at the Christmas party and hit on her. With a sigh he turned and headed toward the cubicle area.

"Be nice," she called after him. He waved vaguely and kept walking…

**Suits**

**1996…**

_ "Hey Ross," a sneering voice said and he was shoved from behind. Mike flew forward, the book he had been reading flying from his hands. It was his first day back at school since his parents died, and he wasn't in the mood to be harassed by Allan Hannah._

_ "Leave me alone, Allan," Mike said quietly picking his book up._

_ "Or what, Ross?"_

_ Mike turned to face Allan. He was chubby and had a scar above his eyebrow. He says it was from skateboarding. Mike knew better. He had heard Allan's sister bragging about punching him about a week after it happened._

_ "Just leave me alone," Mike repeated quieter. He closed his book, trying to walk away from the bully, but Allan would not leave._

_ "Heard about you parents." Mike stopped at Allan's words but didn't turn around. He could feel anger and sadness pumping through his veins. "Shame. But hey, look on the bright side, they're rid of you…"_

_ Mike didn't remember throwing his book down, didn't remember turning around, didn't even remember attacking Allan. Which was a first for him, he usually remembered everything._

_ In fact, the next thing he did remember was someone saying his name, "Mike. Mike…"_

**Suits**

**Present Day…**

"Mike." A hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped, turning to see Gregory standing over him.

"What?" he asked really not in the mood for the other associates. Ryan and Seth lurked behind him.

"Just wondering why you haven't participated in the office pool."

"Leave me alone," he said quietly spinning his chair back to face his computer again.

"Come on Ross," Gregory pushed. "It'll be worth it."

"I mean it, Gregory. Leave me alone." Mike was trying so hard not to snap at the other associate, but knew he wasn't doing a very good job. However, before Gregory could respond, Harvey's voice cut him off. "I don't see you guys working."

Gregory spun around, his minions already staring at Harvey with wide eyes and pale faces. "I suggest you get back to work or you're fired," Harvey continued in a low voice. They all three scurried away.

Mike glanced up at Harvey for a second before looking away. He should really go home, he had arrangements to make. He had no idea where he was going to start. And… Why was Harvey still hovering?

"I don't have anything for you," Mike said quietly, wearily. He didn't. Harvey hadn't given him any files and the files he did have were for Louis and a couple other partners.

"How are you?" Harvey asked keeping his voice low, his eyes looking for any eavesdroppers.

"Peachy," Mike replied glaring at his computer. Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone? Was it too much to ask?

"Mike, I know," Harvey said even quieter, his voice unsure. Mike had never seen Harvey unsure. Not ever. He hadn't even been sure Harvey could…

_ Wait what…?_

"You what?" Mike asked slowly, cautiously. "H…how…?"

"I had Donna call after…"

"You had…?" this couldn't be happening. Harvey had his assistant check up on him. On his personal life. "You shouldn't have done that," Mike said slowly, keeping his eyes locked on his computer.

"Hey, if you want to go home…" Harvey started blatantly ignoring Mike's tone, his words.

"I'm fine," Mike responded. All thoughts of him leaving quickly evaporated. He didn't want special treatment because his boss couldn't keep his nose out of other people's business.

"But Mike…"

"I said I'm fine," Mike snapped his voice loud enough to quiet every associate in the room. All eyes were on him and Harvey. Nobody moved a muscle, all watching with abated breath for what was about to happen.

Mike could tell Harvey wanted to save face in front of the other associates, but he also knew yelling at Mike now would probably result in an all out screaming match in front of everyone. Mike could tell Harvey wanted to avoid that, so he took a breath and said, "My office, now."

Mike glared at him, but stood and followed the older man from the cubicle area. He heard Gregory whisper, "Dead man walking, Ross…

Once inside Harvey's office, the older man shut the door and gestured for Mike to sit down. Mike stayed by the door, Harvey rolled his eyes but let it go. It was a quiet few seconds then Harvey took another breath and asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's my problem, don't worry about it," Mike mumbled crossing his arms.

"Mike you are my associate, I…"

"Just admit it," Mike snapped noticing the effort it took for Harvey not to flinch. "You care too much to let it go. So, fine, I'll tell you.

"She died this morning around four. Four o'clock. I didn't get called until six. So, basically she was gone two hours before anyone bothered to let me know.

"Happy?" before Harvey could open his mouth Mike turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Donna's shocked face watching his retreating form before meeting Harvey's eyes...

**Suits**

**Hey, what's new? :D**

**I can't guarantee updates will be this fast, they probably won't, but I wrote this and had to share it.**

**So, thank you for all the reviews, alerts, favs, and just plain reading. You guys are awesome and make me want to keep writing :)**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this, drop a comment if you can, and I own nothing.**

**See ya...**

**P.S. The flashbacks will become an important part of the story. They're fun to write and I enjoy exploring Mike's past (or the AU side of it). So, yeah...**


	3. Chapter 3

For the rest of the day Harvey had tried several times to confront Mike, but Ross had gotten good at avoiding people while he was cheating for money, so Harvey was always six steps behind him. Harvey hated being behind. But if Mike didn't want to talk to him he couldn't force him. No matter how much he wanted to.

"Night Harvey," Donna called as she walked past his office. She stopped in the doorway, "He'll come around. It's just fresh in his mind right now."

"I know," Harvey said quietly absentmindedly tapping his pen. Harvey was no stranger to loss, his father died when he was seven. Granted, for a while, he had his mother to fall back on. Mike's fallback was his grandmother. She took the place of his parents when he lost them. She was the one constant he had in his life that had never faltered, never abandoned him. So, yeah, Harvey didn't blame Mike for being pissed at him. He'd be pissed, too, if someone dug around in his personal life.

"Don't push him, Harvey," Donna reminded him before leaving.

"I know," he called after her. He put his pen down, leaning his head back. He ran both his hands down his face, breathing deeply. This day sucked out loud…

Someone cleared their throat and Harvey sat up, meeting Jessica's eyes. She had an unreadable expression on her face, but something in her eyes told Harvey she was there about the incident from earlier.

"I'm handling it," Harvey informed her before she could open her mouth.

"He yelled at you Harvey, in front of the other associates. If you're associate can't respect you…"

"His grandmother died today," Harvey stated cutting her off. He wasn't going to sit there and listen to Jessica berate Mike. Not today. Any other day, sure, but today was off limits.

Jessica cocked an eyebrow and said, "He tell you this?"

"No, Donna called the nursing home where she stayed. They informed her who, in turn, told me. Mike never even said a word."

"Then why was he working?" Jessica demanded. Harvey was not quite sure if she was mad at him, Mike, or the fact that some poor, old woman died and hampered her plans for a perfect firm. Harvey made to open his mouth, explain just why Mike was working, but let the words die on his lips. _He _was the reason why Mike was working.

"Why didn't he tell you?" Jessica questioned when Harvey neglected to answer her first one. Again, _he_ was the reason Mike never told him. He never let him say anything, never gave him the chance. He was an _awesome_ mentor.

"Do you plan on answering any of my questions?"

"What do you want me to say?" Harvey snapped getting to his feet. "Maybe it's because I didn't bother asking him what was wrong this morning. Maybe it was because I had Donna check up on him when I guessed what _had_ happened. Maybe it's because that damn kid gets under your skin and makes you…" Harvey trailed off, almost admitting something he had been denying since he met Mike.

There was just something about Mike Ross that had Harvey caring again. His mother died when he was twenty-five after a long battle with lung cancer, he didn't hear much from his brother. Until Mike, he virtually had no one to worry about, no one to watch out for. Donna and Jessica were the closest thing to a family he had, and he rarely worried about them the way he worried about Mike.

The room fell silent, Jessica breaking it after a few seconds. "You're going to talk to him, right?"

"I'm going to have to."

"He's at his cubicle right now." _Of course he was_. No associate worked harder than Mike. Hell, there were some partners who didn't work as hard as Mike. And, now that this happened, there was a possibility he'd do what Harvey did when _his_ mother died. Throw himself into his work and hope it would help appease the pain of the loss. Harvey knew better…

**Suits**

**1997…**

_Harvey hated being next to Louis Litt. Litt was a second year associate who thought he was better than anyone else because he happened to come from money. Just because Harvey had to fight tooth and nail to get where he was didn't mean he could be belittled by Louis._

_ Of course, he respected Jessica too much to do anything about it. She'd put her ass on the line for him, paid his way through Harvard, he owed her more than he'd owed anyone. So, he'd suck it up. Louis would get his comeuppance eventually. Harvey could feel it._

_ Until then, he was forced to listen to Louis brag about how he was the best, how he had a _special_ relationship with Jessica, how he was next in line to be a partner. Blah, blah, blah…_

_ It was during one of Louis' bragfests that he got the call. Harvey had been going through a file, trying and failing to ignore Louis and his minions, when his phone rang._

_ "Specter," he answered on the third ring. The other line was quiet. "Hello?" still nothing. "Hello?" he was started to get ticked off. "Look, you've got about six seconds to answer before I find you and kick…"_

_ "_She's gone, Harvey_," his brother's quiet voice cracked. "_Mom's gone_…"_

**Suits**

Mike was on his computer, listening to _Green Day_, Googling affordable funeral homes. He didn't have internet at his place, and he was fairly certain he wouldn't be getting home early enough to get to the library. This was the only place he could do it.

He didn't want to be doing this, but if he didn't, no one would. He was his grandmother's only living relative (save for the distant cousins he had never met). Besides, he much doubted those cousins knew her well enough to plan her funeral.

A shadow fell over him and he looked up, stomach sinking when he met Harvey's dark eyes. Mike had been avoiding the older man all day, hard to do when he knew exactly where his desk was. Mike had even sunk as far as to step into Louis's office. Who, in turn, shoved a handful of files into his hands with a nasally, "_Thanks for stopping by Michael. Now get these to me by tomorrow morning."_

"Hey," Mike said quietly exiting out of his site, taking his ear buds from his ears._ So much for avoiding him_. He started collecting files, shoving them in his bag. "I was just heading out." He made a show of shutting his computer down, popping his knuckles as he waited.

"Donna's worried about you," Harvey said slowly, perching on the edge of Mike's desk.

"Tell 'Donna' I'm fine," Mike responded trying hard not to roll his eyes. 'Donna' sighed heavily and said, "If you want to talk…"

"Harvey, I am fine. I just… I need to get home." Mike snapped his desk lamp off, pushing himself to his feet. He grabbed his suit jacket, slipping it on, and slung his bag over his shoulder. "And I, um, I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier." He kept his eyes downcast, not sure he wanted to see the look on Harvey's face. He totally missed the concern flicker across the two, brown orbs.

Without giving Harvey a chance to respond, Mike walked around him and headed toward the elevator. He actually thought he avoided Harvey, but then he realized he forgot his cell phone on his desk.

He turned, heading back to his cubicle, finding Harvey gone. But, as he picked up his phone, he found a piece of scrap paper underneath it. In Harvey's spiky handwriting was the words: _You're not alone, Michael…_

His eyes stinging slightly, Mike picked the note up and pocketed it. He ran his hands down his face before heading back toward the elevators…

**Suits**

**1996…**

_ Mike sat in the principal's office, waiting for his grandma to come get him. Allan Hannah sat across from him, icepack over his eye, staring daggers at the smaller boy. He waited until the secretary's back was turned before spitting out, "You're just jealous because you're all alone now."_

_ Mike ignored Allan, refusing to take the bait this time, and returned to his book. But, like the attention seeking toad he was, Allan kept talking. "Do you like being alone, Mikey? No one to watch out for you, or take care of you. No one…" Allan trailed off when Mike's Grammy walked into the door._

_ Her eyes were worried, angry, and, if he wasn't mistaken, a little proud. She made him promise they'd talk about the fight when he got home. As he followed his Grammy out of the room he stopped next to Allan and said, "You don't know what you're talking about, Allan. I'm not alone."_

_ "Michael," his Grammy called over her shoulder._

_ "Bye." And he hurried to catch up with her, flashing one final smile over his shoulder, spotting the sour look on Allan's face…_

**Suits**

When Mike got home, he spotted the blinking light on his landline's answering machine. He moved toward it, pressing play.

"_Mr. Ross, this is Doctor Massey from the nursing home. You're grandmother's body if ready to be picked up when you are ready. She's at…"_ Massey rattled off an address of a local examiners' office before expressing her condolences and hanging up.

Mike rested his head against the door, taking several breaths. He didn't want to think about his Grammy's body lying on a slab in a cold, dark morgue. Waiting for Mike to make arrangements he did not want to make. He just wanted her to be back, expecting another one of his rare visits, sharing more of her theories about how the doctors were trying to poison her. He'd give anything just to see her one last time…

But he couldn't. No one could bring her back, and despite what Harvey had said, written, he was alone. For the past fifteen years, even when Trevor was in the picture, it always been him and Grammy against the world. Now it's just him. And he hated it. Hated it with such a raw passion that anger flared up inside of him.

He turned, tipping over his bookshelf. Books and trinkets scattered across the floor, but he didn't stop there. He upended his coffee table, last night's dinner splattering the couch. He turned to the wall and started punching it. Over and over, screaming, hot, angry tears stinging his eyes.

He had no idea how long he was at it, but eventually he calmed down. He took several deep breaths, barely taking in the scarlet that stained the wall or the fact that his hands hurt like a mother.

He stumbled back, falling onto his couch. His hands were shaking, hell his whole body was shaking, but he ignored it. All he wanted to do was sleep and pretend none of this had happened. But he couldn't because it did happen.

For the first time, in a long time, he cursed his eidetic memory. He cursed the fact that he could recall every memory with his Grammy, every moment laid out like a scrap book. He felt like screaming again, but his throat was already on fire. He probably could barely croak let alone scream.

_God, why did this happen…?_

**Suits**

Harvey sat outside of Mike's apartment, ignoring the strange stares Ray threw his way. He was torn between barging in, demanding Mike talk, and threatening to not leave until he did. And listening to Donna and allowing _Mike _to talk when he was ready.

One was smart, time consuming, and _right_: guaranteed to give Mike space and allow him to process things before coming clean with how he was feeling. The other was dirty, mean, and _easy_: a one way ticket to pushing Mike away.

Harvey knew which he wanted to pick and which he should pick. And in the end, he chose right over easy. He sighed heavily, met Ray's eyes, and said, "Take me home…" Donna was right, he couldn't push Mike. He had to give him time.

But, as much as Harvey hated second guessing himself, he still couldn't help wondering if he was making the smartest decision…

**Suits**

**Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, and just plain reading last chapter. You guys rock :D**

**As for the 'Harvey flashback' I know I said something about just doing flashbacks on Mike's AU past, but inspiration hit and I decided to dig into Harvey's ****AU ****past, too. I just loved flashbacks so much :D**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this, thanks for reading, drop a comment if you can, and I own nothing.**

**See ya...**


	4. Chapter 4

Sunrise found Mike finishing the last of Louis' files. He had tried to go to sleep several times during the night, but eventually gave up around two. He had started with a few files he had for an older partner, worked steadily through the briefs that another partner wanted by that afternoon, and eventually got down to Louis' crap.

He put his pen down, checking his watch, doing the quick math in his head. He had an hour and a half to get ready. He decided on a shower, it might wake him a bit, and moved toward his coffee percolator. He figured if he started a pot now, it'd be done by the time he got out of the shower.

He dared not look at his hands, his right one throbbing from use even after he abused it, his left one stiff and barely capable of picking up the glass pot to fill with water. He had cleaned the blood off the wall before his third failed attempt to go to bed. He did the dishes after his second, cleaned his bookshelf up after the fourth, managed to get the majority of Spaghetti-Os out off the couch, though the orange stain was going to be there a while, and even picked his coffee table up.

Glass still littered the floor from a couple trinkets that broke; a few books laid, pages down, next to the shelf. Even though he cleaned up, his apartment still looked like he completely lost it.

He shook his head, returning his attention to filling his coffee machine with water. With the combined effort of both his hands, he managed to get the thing filled. Though, it took some tweaking to get the frigging thing to work. It had belonged to his mother, she got it when she went to college, and it was over thirty years old. He would get a new one but he had to pay…

The thought died before it could be formed. The only thing he had to pay for now was a funeral. He ran his hands down his face, hissing in pain when he jostled his stiff fingers. He sighed and moved into his bathroom, just wanting to get the stench of yesterday off him…

**Suits**

Harvey moved passed Donna's desk, stopping when he spotted the barely concealed worried look on her face. He stared at her for a while, her eyes two, unblinking, brown orbs, and finally said, "What?"

"Mike stopped by this morning," she said softly.

"And?"

"It was just to say 'hi.' He was taking _Louis_ some files," she continued quickly, the dislike oozing off Louis' name. It was obvious she was hiding something. It's very rarely she did something like that, but Harvey knew her tell. Her lip twitched.

"And?" Harvey made a mental note to corner Louis later today.

"It was nothing," Donna insisted putting a cup of coffee on the desk and pushing it toward Harvey.

"Donna."

"Oh, all right, there was something wrong with his hands," Donna said meeting Harvey's eyes. "He wouldn't show me them, but I could see how much trouble he was having holding onto the files.

"Do you think he punched somebody?"

"Probably something," Harvey muttered remembering a time when he put his hand through the thin dry wall of his old, dumpy apartment.

"He's spiraling out of control," Donna said softly. "You need to talk to him."

"You told me to let him come to me," Harvey pointed out patiently. Worry gripped his stomach, but he ignored it.

"Maybe that's not the wisest decision anymore," Donna responded slowly. Great, she's contradicting the very decision he made the night before because of what _she _suggested. (He would never understand that woman.) But, he was Harvey Specter damn it and he stuck to the choices he made, but the look on Donna's face…

"I'll go to him if it gets worse," Harvey responded compromising. It was what Jessica did for him, after he told her of course. And that wasn't for a while…

**Suits**

**1997…**

_He was numb, his brother's words still circling his head. _'She's gone. Mom's gone.'_ The ever present denial crept up on him because he knew his mother couldn't be gone. She had been looking better the last time he saw her. But that had been four months ago…_

_ Four months. He hadn't been home in four months. It wasn't like he lived far, but he had just been swamped with work and hadn't given it much thought. And now…_

_"Hey, Specter," a nasally voice broke him out of his downward spiral. He looked up, meeting Louis' hazel eyes. "No personal calls."_

_ It took Harvey an moment to comprehend what Louis was talking about, his brother's tiny voice calling out to him. "Alex, I have to call you back," he said softly into the phone before hanging up on Alex's, "_Harvey wait…"

_Louis said something, or Harvey saw his lips move, but it was masked by the muffled buzzing in his ears. This wasn't happening, this could not be happening. That was his mantra: deny, deny, deny…_

**Suits**

**Present Day…**

Mike's awkwardly held his highlighter, trying to ignore how painful his scraped and bruised fingers and knuckles were. He hated going through briefs, but it was busy work. And he'd take busy work over thinking right now.

He was waiting for a call from a funeral home he found early that morning. He had gotten into the office a good twenty-five minutes before anyone else, greeting the day janitor when he passed him. He knew both day and night janitors well, having pulled his fair share of all-nighters.

Louis had been in about an hour after him, finding the files Mike had left on his desk. The weasel took advantage of Mike's early arrival and scrounged up some work to dump onto the young associate.

Mike had to have the briefs done before Louis left that night. And, since Mike wasn't sure when that was going to be exactly (Louis, Mike begrudgingly admitted, was like him. He left at varying times), was steadily working his way through the stack, and ignoring his torn hands along the way.

"Hey," a voice said and Mike looked up. Rachel stood over him, her usually impassive face held an underlying flicker of concern. _Oh joy, she knows_.

"So, how are you doing?" she asked trying to sound nonchalant, tucking a piece of stray hair behind her ear.

"Fine, just finishing these briefs," Mike replied looking down at his work, acting casual. He didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him, he just wanted to get his work done, talk to the funeral home, and maybe get his Grammy's body out of the morgue before the weekend. He knew how long it took a body to…

He stopped himself from thinking, gritting his teeth. Stupid, trivial facts he found in a book were not going to help right now. He pressed the highlighter into the page so hard the tip broke and pain spiked through his hand.

"Oh my God," Rachel said quietly when his jacket's sleeve moved, revealing his left hand. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Mike said hurriedly, pushing his sleeve back down.

"That wasn't 'nothing'," Rachel pressed the point, ignoring the attention she was getting from the other associates. She walked around his desk, he tried to dodge her, but she cornered him and took his hands between hers.

She moved his sleeve away, glancing down at the abused knuckles and fingers. She stared at them, once again ignoring the stares the associates were giving them, and softly said, "What happened?"

"Nothing," Mike snapped wrenching his hands from her. "I'm fine."

"That doesn't look fine to me," a new voice said and Mike whirled around to see Harvey standing over his cubicle, his face unreadable, looking down at Mike's hands.

"Why can't you guys just leave me alone?" Mike exclaimed getting to his feet. "Honestly, people die every day, but you don't see me bugging them!" he pushed passed Rachel, storming out of the cubicle area…

**Suits**

**1996…**

_Allan Hannah had been bugging him again, but this time it had been on his mother's birthday. Mike had been feeling down all day, Trevor not even able to bring him out of his funk, and when Allan starting in on him, Mike couldn't take it and ran into the nearest bathroom._

_ Trevor followed him inside saying, "You want me to pop him one, Mikey? I got no problem."_

_ "Leave it," Mike said quietly gripping either side of the sink. He bowed his head, breathing heavily. "Why Trev? Why them?"_

_ "I don't know, Mike."_

_ "Allan gets his parents, his perfect life. What about me? Why couldn't it have been someone else's parents? Why mine?" Trevor was quiet. "I'd give anything to get them back…"_

_ "I know," Trevor said quietly, resting his hand on his shoulder. "I know you would…"_

**Suits**

**Present Day…**

Harvey walked in the bathroom to see Mike leaning over the sink, red, abused hands gripping the porcelain tightly, his head down. He studied the kid for a second, noticing the tension in his back, and the way his shoulders rose as he breathed. To Harvey it was like watching his own past, but now he truly understood how everyone felt around him.

He cleared his throat and quietly asked, "You okay?" Mike looked up, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

"Fine," he responded looking into the sink again. "Sorry."

"What'd you do to your hands?" Harvey asked ignoring Mike's apology.

"I wasn't in a fight if that's what you're thinking," Mike replied slowly.

"Never thought that." Mike made a noncommittal noise, but otherwise stayed silent. The bathroom lapsed into an uncomfortable silence broken up by Mike saying, "I'd give anything to have her back."

_I know_, Harvey thought but he heard his voice say, "Would you really want her back? She was sick already Mike, her time was limited…"

"So, you're saying I should be grateful she died?" Mike snapped bitterly, releasing the sink to whirl around and look at Harvey.

"No," Harvey responded calmly. "I am merely saying you should have been prepared for this a while ago…"

"Look, Harvey, we can't all be emotionless androids like you," Mike spat his blue eyes flashing with rage. "I'm sorry this is inconveniencing you, my loss. I'm sorry you have no idea what that feels like," it took all of Harvey's self-control not to scream back at Mike after that comment, "but I can't help how I feel. So, get off my back and leave me alone." He pushed past his boss, leaving the bathroom.

_Perhaps Donna's right_, Harvey thought shaking his head. If tough love worked for him, it might work with Mike, too. Or Harvey hoped it would…

**Suits**

**1997…**

_Harvey's apartment was a small, barely affordable studio apartment. It was a forty minute train ride from the firm. He always took the subway to and from work, but today he decided to walk. His head was on several different things, and he'd much rather avoid the tweaker that sat in the back of the subway muttering about the apocalypse._

_His mother was gone. His _mother_ was gone. She was gone. It still didn't seem real. His head was too wrapped up in denial to process that bit of information. And he still had to call Alex back. No doubt his brother left him a crap load of messages on his answering machine._

_He made it home a good hour and a half later, letting himself into his apartment. He barely looked up at the cracked and yellow ceiling that leaked every time it rained. He threw his battered suitcase on his couch, kicking his shoes off and shrugging out of his jacket._

_He ignored his blinking answering machine, heading toward his tiny fridge. He wasn't even sure if he had any beer, probably couldn't afford it this month anyway, but was surprised to find a Miller shoved in the back._

_He took it out, closed the door with his foot, and popped the top off. He took a sip, moving back to his couch, his phone ringing interrupting him. He sighed heavily, not really wanting to talk to Alex, but knowing his little brother would keep calling. So, he moved toward his phone and picked it up, "Yeah?"_

_"_You never called me back," Alex said impatiently.

"_Been busy."_

_"_Harvey, Mom is d…dead and you're working still?"

_"When's the funeral?" Harvey asked ignoring his brother's question._

_Alex sighed, but didn't press the point. "_Grandma wants to have it sometime over the next few days. She's making the arrangements. You are going to be there, right_?" the bitterness, in Alex's voice, was not lost on Harvey._

_ "I'll be there," Harvey responded slowly. "Why wouldn't I be?"_

"Because, while Mom was dying we saw you _maybe_ six times a year. God, Harvey, you live like three hours away…"

_"See you at the funeral, Alexander," Harvey interrupted hanging up on his brother. Anger rolled through his gut, gripping him tightly, his ears ringing. He turned, slamming his fist into his wall…_

**Suits**

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts, and just plain reading last chapter. You guys are awesome.**

**I own nothing, please review if you can, and I own nothing.**

**See ya...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Present Day…**

The bar smelt like sweat, fried food, and alcohol. The jukebox was blaring some classic rock number that Mike didn't know, the TV had on a baseball game, and there was a sea of voices. Mike usually didn't go to places like this, and when he did he usually had Trevor and Jenny with him, but he figured Harvey would have a hard time finding him here, or anyone else for that matter. In fact, he had to shut his phone off because Donna, Rachel, _and_ Harvey had tried calling several times since he exploded in the cubicle area and yelled at Harvey in the bathroom.

He moved toward the counter, taking a seat between a biker chick, flirting with her boyfriend… husband… dude she planned on sleeping with, and a woman that looked like a dude. Whether or not she… he was whatever he…she was, Mike didn't care.

He ordered a couple of shots, the bartender cocking an eyebrow. "What?" he snapped throwing his hands out.

"ID," the bartender deadpanned.

"Of course," Mike grumbled taking his wallet out. He flashed his ID, the bartender squinting at it, and then he nodded.

"Keys," the bartender said as Mike put his wallet away. Mike felt his ears burn a little when he said, "I don't own a car."

"Whatever," the bartender grumbled putting three shot glasses on the counter and filling them up. He wandered away as Mike started downing the whiskey. It burnt going down, but he didn't care. As long as it helped him forget the past two days, even for a few minutes.

Besides, he should be celebrating, right? He managed to get a meeting with the funeral director. He learned that cremation was cheaper than burial, and as much as Grammy wanted to be buried by Pop-pop, Mike just couldn't afford the casket, funeral service, and burial fees. He figured he could pay, later on, to have her ashes buried on top of her husband.

He shook his head, clearing it of thoughts of Grammy, her death, and the arrangements that followed, and knocked on the counter for more alcohol. He wasn't even sure if he had enough money to be drinking whiskey, but figured the credit card Harvey made him get might work.

He was ten shots in when the bartender cut him off. Mike wasn't a heavy drinker, not even close. Trevor had taken him out for his twenty-first birthday, and Mike was shitfaced after four shots and a beer. It was sad.

Usually, according to Trevor, he was a weepy drunk. Unless there was a particularly strong mood he had been feeling, and then the alcohol intensified it. And since he had been pissed all day, he pretty much was ready to snap at anyone.

He was bumped, and since he was already furious because the bartender wouldn't serve him anything but water, he jumped to his feet and spun around. "Waz yer problem?" he slurred at the guy who had to be a good eight inches taller and a good one-hundred pounds heavier than his buck fifty.

"Excuse me?" the guy questioned cocking an eyebrow.

"Pushing me," Mike reiterated. "Maybe I should push you." And he pushed the guy, or tried to. It was like trying to push a brick wall. He stumbled mumbling, "Damn, yer heavy." He looked up in time to see the fist connect with his face…

**Suits**

Harvey had just pulled up to Mike's apartment, giving Ray the night off, when his phone rang. He checked the screen, spotted a number he didn't know, and answered with furrowed eyebrows, "Specter?"

"_Do you know a Mike Ross?_" a irritated voice asked. In the background he heard another, more familiar, slurred voice say, "_Where's my phone? Hey, gimme my phone._"

"Is he…? Is he drunk?" Harvey asked putting his car back into drive, trying to staunch the worry that gnawed at his stomach. He seriously did not have time for this. "What bar is he at?" The irritated man gave Harvey the address and promised to hold Mike for as long as he possibly could.

"Thanks." Harvey hung up, tossed his phone onto the dash, and pressed the gas until the speedometer crept a little over the speed limit. _Michael what have you done now?_

**Suits**

**1997…**

_After three days of snapping at the other associates, Harvey was cornered by Jessica. He knew she knew his mother died, she had told him the day after that he was welcome to come to her at anytime, but he kept blowing off her offer. He was Harvey Specter, he could handle his own problems._

_However, when he walked into her office, he didn't feel like 'big bad' Harvey, he felt like a first year associate that was in trouble. He stood by her door, waiting for her to start yelling at him. Instead, she gestured to the chair across from her desk and said, "Have a seat."_

_ He crossed the room, sitting down cautiously, and waited. The tongue lashing was coming, he just knew it. "How are you doing?" Jessica asked slowly, and Harvey's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. There was no screaming, no threats of termination. Nothing to suggest Jessica was angry at him._

_ "Fine," Harvey responded slowly._

_ "Bullshit," Jessica replied and Harvey's eyebrows furrowed deeper._

_ "Excuse me?"_

_ "Harvey, I can tell you aren't alright. You blame yourself for your mother's death and maybe you're right. Maybe you did unintentionally kill her."_

_ "What?" it felt as if something cold slid into his stomach, gripping it tightly and making him feel ill._

_ "Yeah, maybe you're taking your guilt out on the other associates. You're too afraid to face what you did, so everyone else has to suffer."_

_ Harvey's eyes stung, the room blurring, but blinking cleared it pretty quickly. "You're wrong," he whispered trying to convince his brain to convince his feet to move. Her office was suddenly stifling, and he had to get out of it._

_ "Maybe I am, maybe not. But that still doesn't excuse the fact that you abandoned her, left her with your brother and grandmother, because you thought your job was more important."_

_ "I…I…" Harvey couldn't help the tremble in his hands, despite the fact that he tried to stop it. His vision blurred again. He blinked again, but this time two drops fell from his eyes. "That's not true," he snapped finally finding his voice. "I loved my mother, and I would have visited her more, but this damn firm kept me from going!" he was on his feet, trembling, pointing at Jessica._

_ "'The puppy doesn't clean up its own messes, Harvey' 'Never send the big dogs to do the puppy's work, Harvey' 'Get that file to me before this afternoon, Puppy.'" He could never understand Jessica's infatuation with dogs. "I do everything, everything you ask of me. I work my ass off. If anyone should be blamed for me never seeing my mom it's you!"_

_ "Do you blame me, Harvey?" Jessica asked calmly, her face never revealing how his outburst affected her._

_ Harvey felt himself deflate some; hot tears were still streaming __steadily__ down his face despite the effort he was putting into stopping them. He thought about it for a second, taking a shuddering breath, before shaking his head and sitting down again. He didn't blame Jessica or the firm, and his mother told him at his graduation to '_show those corporate douches whose boss.' _That was what he was doing, following her words, working his ass off to be the best lawyer this firm had ever seen._

_"When's the funeral?" Jessica asked the moment Harvey calmed down._

_ "D…day after tomorrow," he responded locking eyes with the floor._

_ "What time?"_

_ "Eleven. Family has to get there early, though."_

_ "Good, I'll pick you up around seven," Jessica said and he looked up._

_ "What?" he was taken aback by her offer. "You don't…" she threw him a sharp look. "Thank you."_

_ "Now get home," Jessica said nodding toward the door. "And if you tell anyone about this conversation…"_

_ "Believe me, it was embarrassing enough as it was," Harvey interrupted her. "No one's going to know."_

_ Jessica gave him a half smile and shooed him. As he left her office, he couldn't help feeling a little ashamed. He had just shouted at his boss, disrespected the one woman who put her whole career on the line for his screwed up ass. But she had taken it, no complaints, and he still had a job. _Huh...

**Suits**

Mike was sitting in a booth in the mostly empty bar, holding a baggie of ice to his face. Harvey tried to ignore the gut clenching concern as he crossed the room. "What the hell happened?" he demanded crouching down into Mike's line of sight.

"Big guy punched me," Mike replied. Harvey got a face full of alcohol breath, and he reeled back at the smell.

"Jeez kid, ever heard of a breath mint?" he grumbled pushing himself up.

"Yes, I can also tell you the ingredients in an average breath mint…" Mike hiccupped pulling the ice from his face and sitting it on the table. He was already developing a decent shiner, around his eye, to go along with his bruised and swollen hands. "Don't," Harvey said holding up a hand.

"Come on, Mike," he continued, grabbing the younger guy's arm.

"Don't touch me," Mike snapped pulling his arm free. "You can't be heartless and caring at the same time, Harvey. Make up your fucking mind already."

Harvey sighed heavily before slipping into the booth across from Mike. He didn't want to do this here, but if Mike was going to be difficult…

"You aren't the only one who's lost someone, Michael," Harvey said leaning over the table. "So, get the hell off your high horse already."

"Oh, so now it's _emotionless, hard ass _Harvey," Mike grumbled laying his head back. "Is he gonna be here this whole conversation, or do I get the 'I'm not caring but am caring' Harvey, too?"

"Listen up smartass; I didn't have to drive down to this… atrocious place to get you…"

'Then why did you? I am perfebly…peferbly…" Mike trailed off, his big brain too alcohol ridden to give him the right word. He shook his head, hiccupped, and said, "I can get home by myself jus' fine, thanks. Because I am fine, Harvey. Fine."

"Bullshit," Harvey snapped causing Mike to flinch. For a second Harvey felt like Jessica. Except she was dealing with him, who wasn't as sensitive as Mike; Harvey wondered how far he could push Mike before he completely broke. "You're not fine and I know why."

"What are you talkin' 'bout?" Mike said blinking couple times, glaring.

Harvey recalled the night before Mike's grandmother died. He had complained that he was supposed to see her that night, but Harvey had kept him late. Great, just another thing to add to the ever growing list of guilt Harvey had. This could end up back firing on him. But he had never been one to give up, so he pushed on:

"You're just acting like this because you feel guilty for not seeing your grandmother one last time," Harvey pressed watching as Mike's face crumbled, his fair complexion turning paper white.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. You never got to say good-bye and you're taking it out on yourself. And maybe you're right. Maybe if you'd just stood up to me, told me you really needed to see your grandmother…"

"Stop it," Mike whispered blinking rapidly.

'…then you'd have gotten one final moment with her. But you didn't, you obeyed like the good little puppy you are. And now she's dead and you can't do anything about it."

"Stop it," Mike said a little louder. Harvey could see how much he was shaking.

"You can't and it's eating away at you. Eating you away so much that you just can't stand it…"

"I mean it Harvey," Mike snarled his fists clenching at his side.

"…and I don't blame you. She probably died figuring you never loved…" a fist connected with Harvey's jaw, knocking him from the booth.

"Shut the hell up," Mike snapped getting to his feet, his voice arousing the bartender from the back. "You have no fucking clue what you are talking about!" he turned on his heel and started toward the door, leaving Harvey on the floor clutching his jaw. _Yep, definitely back fired…_

**Suits**

**I wasn't going to have Mike punch Harvey at first. I was going to have Mike have a breakdown, explain how he was feeling, and all that jazz, but I like angry, angsty Mike sooo much (I need help I know). Plus, can you picture Donna's face when Harvey shows up with a bruised jaw? :O And, angry Mike hasn't run into Louis yet, and I want a scene between those two before Mike moves onto the next stage of grief (and I know I've been lingering over bargaining and anger, but depression will rear its head soon I promise)**

**Anyway, yeah I wasn't too keen on the Harvey/Jessica flashback. If Harvey is OOC in it I apologize. And... yeah...**

**So, thanks for reviewing, alerting, and reading last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this. And I own nothing.**

**See ya in the next chapter...**

**P.S. I have no clue how much Mike weighs, so I took a shot in the dark :)**


	6. Chapter 6

Donna had been on her computer the next morning, fingers flying across the keyboard, when she heard Harvey's footsteps approaching. She looked up, her mouth opened to greet him, only to say, "What the hell happened?"

His jaw was reddish-purple and he winced before he said, in a muffled voice, "Had a run-in with a fist."

"Whose?" Donna asked following him into his office.

"Don't worry about it," Harvey responded testily, sitting down at his desk. He started opening drawers, searching for something.

"In the bottom drawer," Donna said with a sigh and watched as Harvey took a bottle of Tylenol out of his desk. He popped the top off, shook three into his palm, and dry swallowed them. He replaced the cap and set the bottle on his desk again.

"Did I get any calls?" he asked opening his laptop.

"Did Mike punch you?" Donna demanded ignoring his question.

"I was expecting a call from that new client Jessica wanted me to see. Uh, Langer, Langston…"

"Seriously, Harvey, what happened?" Donna said cutting the man off.

He took a breath and said, "Yes, Mike punched me."

"Why?" Donna asked a flicker of worry, concern, and a small bout of anger crossing her eyes.

"I tried what Jessica tried on me…"

Donna rolled her eyes with a deep sigh, "No wonder he punched you. If you did what Jessica did…" she shook her head. "Jessica used tough love because she knew you could handle it. Mike's different from you, Harvey. He's…" she trialed off, trying to come up with the right word.

"Sensitive," Harvey supplied for her.

"I was thinking of a nicer term, but sure," Donna replied nodding. "You want to get through to him you have to sympathize with him…" Harvey opened his mouth to protest, wincing at the action. "And I know it'll burn, but it's what has to be done." She gave him a small smile. He didn't even try to return it, but he did reluctantly nod.

"Good," Donna said with her own nod. "And the sooner the better," she pressed as she started toward the door. "And I'll get you some ice."

"Thanks," he muttered as she made to close the door. She stopped for a second and said, "So, send him in when he…?" Harvey nodded, cutting her words off. "Gotcha…"

**Suits**

Mike spent the entire weekend locked in his apartment, and dreaded that he had to go to work Monday. He didn't want to face the other associates after his blow up, he didn't want to see Rachel with her sympathy, but the one person he really didn't want to see was Harvey.

He was still pissed off at the older man for what he said, but he also felt ashamed and embarrassed. He had punched his boss in the face. There was a chance he didn't even have a job to go to. Though, he believed if he were fired Harvey would have already called and told him. Or someone at Pearson/Hardman surely would have called.

Mike rode his bike to work, driving slower than normal, ignoring the sun shining down on him. His Grammy's funeral was scheduled for that Wednesday. Or, more like, her cremation was scheduled for that Wednesday. He couldn't afford the actual service, and he refused to ask Harvey or anyone else for help.

He hated to think about her in that way, just a stiff that was going to be burnt. He had Googled the temperature it took to burn a body: 870 to 980 degrees Celsius. It took 90 minutes to two hours for the body to actually burn, longer with bigger…

He slammed into something, jolting him from his morbid thoughts. He hit the ground hard, his bike landing on him. He shook his head, looking around to see what he had run into. A mailbox stood right next to him.

"Are you okay?" a couple voices asked. He nodded, pushed himself to his feet, his face burning red. He picked his bike up, ignoring the concern thrown at him, and pushed his bike the rest of the way to work, trying to ignore how wobbly his wheel was…

**Suits**

**1996…**

_ He found the bike in his old garage as he and Grammy were cleaning out the house. It needed the tires aired up and a new chain. With Trevor's help they could easily fix it. He had read a book on bikes, it couldn't be that hard._

_ "What are you doing, Mike?" his Grammy said and he turned, showing her the bike._

_ "It was Dad's," he said quietly patting the seat. "We used to ride around at the park."_

_ "What are you going to do with it?" Grammy asked carefully, looking down at the bike._

_ "Fix it," Mike replied without hesitation. "It can't be that hard."_

_ Grammy wrapped her arms around his shoulders, but didn't say anything. But the meaning behind the hug was quite clear: '_I believe you can do it if you put your mind to it.._.'_

_**Suits**_

Mike locked his bike up before heading toward the building. He wasn't hurt or anything, at least not physically, but his suit was a little dirty. Harvey wasn't going to be happy with him, not even a little, but there wasn't much he could do.

He walked past the security guard, flashing his badge, noting the wary look the guard flashed him. Almost as if he was expecting Mike to break at any moment. Mike just rolled his eyes and headed toward the elevator.

The doors were just sliding closed when he stopped them with his arm, stepping into the car. Louis was leaning against the wall, reading the paper. Mike was glad the older man had a distraction; he really didn't want to deal with him. Of course, it was one of those days, and Louis had to fold up his paper.

"Hi," Mike said quietly, waving once, avoiding the older man's eyes.

"I went through those briefs," Louis started in his nasally voice. "Your work was sloppier than normal." Leave it to Louis to make Mike feel more awful than he already felt. "We have certain expectations at Pearson/Hardman, which you are already aware of, and we can't afford to…"

"Look, Louis," Mike snapped cutting the older man off. "I don't have time to listen to your nasally, weasely voice. I have a lot going on and your stupid ass briefs are a little low on my list of priorities."

"What did you say to me?" Louis said slowly, neither man realizing the doors were open.

"You heard me…"

"Listen here," Louis continued in a quiet voice, squaring his shoulders. "I have been working here for fifteen years, I am well respected, and I don't have time to listen to some shithead associate mouth off to me because his grandmother died. When I have a problem with your work, I expect it to be dealt with. Got it?"

And Louis left the elevator, but before he could take more than a few steps he stopped, looked back, and said, "And if you ever speak to me like that again, I'll be sure to you never get a job at any firm again."

"Empty threats, Louis," a bored tone said and both turned to see Harvey walking toward them. The rest of the associates, who had been watching them seconds before, hurriedly returned to their work. Though, they did sneak peeks once in a while.

"Oh, are they? Really Harvey? And why's that?"

"Because you can't fire someone for telling the truth," Harvey deadpanned getting a glare from Louis. "You had a room full of associates who could easily do those briefs yet you pushed them on Mike. So, his sloppy work, so you say, is your fault."

"Harvey…" Louis started but trailed off when Jessica appeared behind Harvey.

"Problem gentlemen?" she asked letting her dark eyes flick from Louis to Harvey and then to Mike.

"Just telling Louis that his wife should really change the drapes in their room; it's depressing," Harvey said glancing over his shoulder at Jessica.

"Uh-huh," she said quietly narrowing her eyes. "Louis, is that true?"

"I was just having a conversation with Michael here when Harvey interrupted us," Louis said letting his hazel eyes settle on Mike. Mike backed up a little, hating the unidentifiable flicker in the older man's eyes. Louis would never stick up for Mike out of the goodness of his heart, there was an ulterior motive.

"Uh-huh," Jessica repeated her eyes skeptical. "Have the conversation somewhere else," she finally said after a few seconds of quiet. "You're taking up the elevator." And she walked off, moving back toward her office.

"I'll just leave those briefs on your desk," Louis said stepping out of the car. "I expect them fixed before this afternoon. Oh, and I suggest a dry cleaner for that suit." And he walked off, barely sparing Harvey a second glance. Mike glanced down at his dirty suit, wanting nothing more than to pounce on Louis' back and take him down.

It was quiet for a few seconds, and then Harvey met Mike's eyes and said, "My office, now."

Okay, so maybe he didn't have a job anymore. Or maybe he did. Oh, who knew with Harvey? He wasn't exactly easy to read on the best of days.

Mike just sighed, hung his head, and followed Harvey down the hall, ignoring all the other associates as he passed them…

**Suits**

**Yes, it's been a little while since I last updated (I think, my updates are starting to blur together), but I really hope you enjoyed this.**

**So, thanks so much for reviewing and alerting last chapter, you guys rock, and thanks for reading.**

**I own nothing, drop a comment if you can, and I should go**

**Bye... **


	7. Chapter 7

Harvey met Donna's eyes as he passed her desk and she nodded, picking her phone up. He nodded back and continued on, opening his office door and allowing Mike inside before following him. He closed the door, pointing to the couch without a word.

Mike tentatively moved toward the leather sofa, slowly lowering himself into the cushions. There was a worried look on his face, and he was clenching his hands into fists (despite the pain the simple action must be causing him) almost as if he were trying to stop them from shaking.

Harvey was quiet for a moment, crossing the room to take a seat across from Mike. He watched as the younger guy unclenched his left fist and started tapping his fingers against the leather couch cushion.

"When's the last time you slept?" Harvey asked breaking the silence. The kid had deep, dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were bloodshot, the blue orbs standing out against the red. Mike shrugged, scuffing his feet across the carpet, still tapping his fingers. "Look, kid, this would be so much easier if you…"

"Why am I here?"

Harvey sighed heavily, choosing his words carefully, and said, "I wanted to apologize for Friday."

Mike looked up, confused, his eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"I should not have said what I said," Harvey continued trying to put some type of remorse in his voice, but having a feeling he sounded unintentionally assy. "And I'm sorry." There is was out there, he apologized; now they could move on.

"It's not your fault." But apparently Mike did not get the memo.

"What do you mean?" Harvey asked against his better judgment. He could almost hear the little voice in the back of his head, that for some strange reason sounded like Mike, say, _Really, dude, really…_

He internally scowled at the Mike voice calling him dude, and totally missed what Mike was saying. He tuned back in just in time to hear Mike say, "…should not have punched you…"

"Don't worry about it," Harvey responded and held his hand up when Mike made to reply. "Look, do you know how many people have wanted to punch me? I am actually surprised you had the balls to do it in the first place." Harvey tried to smile, barely held a grimace at bay, and opted for just a nod.

"It was the alcohol," Mike muttered pretty much letting Harvey's insult slide. "Is that it?"Okay, this had gone on long enough.

"No, it most certainly is not," Donna's voice snapped from the doorway before Harvey could say anything. She stormed in, closing the door behind her, and sat heavily next to Mike. She turned to look at Harvey and said, "Harvey you're not helping."

"I am…" her withering stare stopped his words on his lips. "You know, it's frowned upon to eavesdrop on your boss's conversations."

"It's also frowned upon to sleep with your boss's client's daughter, but that didn't stop you," Donna deadpanned before turning to Mike. "How are you really doing?"

"I'm fine," he growled locking his eyes on the floor.

"Bullshit," Harvey muttered before he could stop himself. He watched Mike flinch at the word, probably flashing back to Friday night like Harvey did.

Donna glared at Harvey for a second before looking back at Mike. "Look, when I was fifteen my grandmother died. And I told everyone I was fine when I really wasn't. Granted, I know your grandmother and you were closer than me and mine, but…" Donna trailed off, looking at Harvey again, her eyes practically telling him to say something. She was about as good with the emotionally stuff as he was.

He took in a breath, let it out slowly, and proceeded to dig up memories he'd rather keep buried. "Mike, look at me," Harvey said quietly, the kid's eyes still locked on the floor since Donna started speaking. "Come on, Mike, now." It wasn't an order so much as a friendly command, but it got the effect Harvey wanted. Mike looked up.

"You were wrong, Friday in the bathroom," Harvey muttered slowly. He knew Mike knew exactly what he was referring to. Come on, it was Mike. Of course he knew. The younger guy made to open his mouth, but Harvey held his hand up again, cutting him off. "Look, when I was six my parents got divorced…"

"What does that…?" Mike's mouth snapped shut at not only Harvey's glare, but Donna's as well.

"I spent a year praying and wishing they'd get back together, and actually thought it worked, until my mother pulled me from summer camp and told me my dad was gone." _Emotionless and calm, emotionless and calm, stick to those like glue_, Harvey coached himself as sorrow and regret start to build in his chest. He had to stay together now otherwise he wouldn't be able to make it through the next part of the story.

"Gone as in…?" Mike trailed off when his big brain caught up. "Oh."

"He had, uh, fallen off the roof of his house, while fixing the shutters. Landed wrong, died instantly. I had just turned seven. My brother, Alex, was only two."

"Harvey, I am so…"

"My mom raised us after that, with help from my grandmother," Harvey pressed on, ignoring Mike's second attempt at apologizing. "I had just began working here, my mother had been sick a while, when my brother called me." Harvey hadn't known he was capable of it, but he was talking about as fast as a teenage girl at a Justice Gomez Montana concert (or whatever the fuck teenage, preteens listened to). "He, uh, he told me my mother had died. And I didn't take it well and I am sorry I yelled at you and I was wrong." He took a breath, locked eyes with Donna, and said, "There I told him."

"That wasn't telling him Harvey," Donna said shaking her head. She turned to look at Mike. "What he's neglecting to tell you is he acted exactly like you did…"

"How do you…?" she was Donna, she knew all. Harvey almost forgot. "Never mind."

"…and it took Jessica being a total bitch to him to get him to come around. Which is why he tried that tactic Friday…"

"Bang up job," Mike said so quietly Harvey almost didn't hear it.

"Look, kid, we just…" Harvey rolled his eyes, took another breath, and trudged on. "When my dad died I was sad, sure, but I was seven. Growing up I had this sense of loss, longing, to see my father again. But I had my mom; she was always there for me…" Harvey really had to stop talking, he was digging a little too deep into the emotional baggage he had stashed away years ago. "She kept Alex and me going, got us whatever we needed, even when she couldn't afford it. She never backed down, never gave up, and should have gone down fighting. Not taken by some frigging sickness that striped her down to a husk of what she once was."

He blinked several times when his vision blurred and kept going. "I, uh, I rarely went to visit her when she was sick. For a," Harvey cleared his throat, "for a while I blamed Pearson/Hardman. For the long hours, the work load, everything that made an associate want to quit six times a day. But, I think the real reason was because I didn't want to see my mother wither away to nothing.

"She was a strong-willed, out spoken woman. Not this disease-riddled shadow." The kid had looked down again, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, his big, blue eyes doing a pretty good imitation of a kicked puppy. "But you never did that to your grandmother," Harvey pressed on, wanting to get that damn look off the kid's face. "You were always there for her, did everything you could for her. And in return she loved you and was proud of you…" Harvey waited for the kid to say something, and when he didn't said, "You know that, right Michael? She loved you." _Come on kid, say something_…

"I-I never got to s-say good-bye," Mike whispered and it was like a levee breaking. The younger guy buried his face in his hands, his shoulders jerking with every new sob. Donna hesitated for a fraction of a second before putting her arms around his shoulders. She rubbed his arms with her hands, mumbling inaudible words of comfort.

Harvey leaned back in his chair, letting his head rest on the backrest, for once not proud of a victory. In fact, he downright felt ill. And each hitched breath, each sob, was like a tiny sword piercing his heart. He hated seeing the kid hurt, hated that the kid could make him feel that way. When did he go soft? Honestly, he wanted to know...

**Suits**

Once Mike cried himself into an exhausted sleep, Donna letting the kid's head rest in her lap, did she decide to say something. The look on Harvey's face, when he was telling Mike about his past, was enough to pull at Donna's heartstrings. Mike's breakdown didn't exactly help her heartstrings either.

"So, are you okay?" she asked quietly, her fingers absentmindedly running through Mike's hair.

"I'm fine," Harvey said quietly getting to his feet. He walked toward his records, just out of Donna's sight.

"You're voice says one thing, but I know better," she said slowly. One perk of working for Harvey Specter for so long, he became easier to read. And he wasn't fine; he wasn't close to being fine. In fact, on a scale of one to spectacular, Harvey was just above 'fuck my life' at that point.

"He's got no one now," Harvey said quietly, flicking through his records. Donna could hear the covers lightly knocking together. "His grandmother is gone, his parents, he didn't have any siblings…"

"Actually, you're wrong," Donna said equally as quiet, looking down at Mike.

"What do you mean?" Harvey asked moving to look at Donna.

"He's got you and me…" Harvey opened his mouth. "Don't deny it," and closed it again. "I know about the note you left on his desk."

"You're a little creepy sometimes, you know that?" she just flashed him a smile and continued stroking Mike's hair. "I think…" Harvey trailed off.

"Of course you will," Donna replied to his unfinished statement. "Jessica did it for you. Besides, you _care_ about him."

"Shut up," Harvey snapped half-heartedly glaring at her.

"You are the big brother he never had," she continued smiling slightly.

"And you're what, his mother?"

"Careful, I get your coffee in the morning," Donna replied furrowing her eyebrows. The room fell silent for a few seconds then Donna took a breath and said, "I think I'll go, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," Donna whispered as she carefully lifted Mike's head. She ducked out from underneath him, grabbing Harvey's discarded suit jacket from the back of a chair. She threw it over the younger associate, despite Harvey's weak protests, and turned to look at him.

"Find out the details when he wakes up," Donna said moving toward the door. She stopped and looked back at Harvey again. "You ever think this was good for you, too? Talking to Mike? It might help you sort some things out, too." And she left her boss standing in the middle of his office, a pensive look on his face…

**Suits**

**Bad? Okay? Completely needs to be rewritten? I am always iffy on emotional scenes cause, in my opinion, I am not very good at them. Or, at least, not fantastic at them :)**

**Anyway, thanks so much for the reviews, alerts, and reading last chapter. You guys are awesome and I can never thank you enough.**

**So, I own nothing, thanks again for reading, and drop a comment if you can...**

**Bye**

**P.S. I know for sure there will be two more chapters, but there is always a chance I could write a third. We'll see :D**


	8. Chapter 8

Harvey passed Donna a folded note, on his way out of his office, after convincing Mike to go home. The younger guy was hardly paying attention, so Harvey felt it was safe to assume he hadn't seen the exchange. Though, he could have been wrong.

The two men walked to Mike's desk, Harvey acutely aware of the attempted 'inconspicuous' glances they were thrown from the other associates. He had a feeling there would have been whispering, if he hadn't been standing next to Mike.

Harvey watched as the younger man collected his stuff, shut his computer down, and then straightened to follow Harvey. Louis started toward them, but one sharp look from Harvey had the older man stopping in his tracks. Though, the look on his face pretty much told Harvey that Mike wasn't off the hook. Harvey made a mental note to keep an eye on his associate for the next few weeks (the balding gremlin was known to hold long grudges).

The two men moved toward the elevators, several pairs of eyes tracking their every move. Harvey ignored them, and Mike wasn't paying attention to much except putting one foot in front of the other to care.

"You okay?" Harvey asked pressing the button to call the elevator car to them. It wasn't the first time he asked (just because he didn't care didn't mean he was such an ass to not ask) and he received the same answer. Mike just shrugged.

The doors opened, Harvey ushered Mike into the car, but before he could press the button Jessica stepped in after them. She pressed the L-button, keeping her back to them as the doors slid closed.

It was a quiet ride down, Mike's blue eyes were locked on the floor while Harvey tried to read Jessica's mood. She was never easy to read, no matter how skilled he was at reading people. He had theory about that, that the protégée could never really read their mentor, no matter how long they've known them.

The doors slid open, but Jessica didn't step aside at first. Keeping her back to them she said, "Take the next few days, I expect to see you two back Monday morning." She then stepped aside, letting both men pass, allowing the doors to close before either one could see her face.

"Come on, kid," Harvey muttered without a hesitation, noting the slight shocked look on his associate's face. He led Mike outside, Ray already waiting for them.

Once they were in the car, Mike let his head rest against the window. Harvey spared him a single glance before his phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket, reading the text message from Donna. One word:

_Done…_

**Suits**

**1997…**

_ Jessica had her driver pick Harvey up the day of his mother funeral. She was in the back, flipping through some case files, and barely looked up when he slid into the seat next to her. Once he closed the door behind him, the driver pulled back onto the road._

_ It was a quiet drive, Harvey keeping his eyes locked on the window, watching the scenery fly past them. He didn't want to go, almost didn't get out of bed that morning, but had a feeling Jessica would have pulled him from bed by his hair. She didn't like his apartment, sure, but she had no problem walking inside and getting him up._

_ They arrived at the church a little before ten, Jessica and Harvey getting out while the driver parked the car. Harvey froze at the entrance, eyes locked on the doors. The moment he walked inside it would be for real, she would be dead._

_ "Take your time," Jessica said softly before stepping inside, leaving him alone. Harvey took a few deep breaths, braced himself, and grabbed the handle. He pulled the doors open and stepped inside…_

**Suits**

**Present Day…**

Mike didn't want to get up that Wednesday morning. He didn't want to bike the sixteen blocks to the funeral home. Not that he'd be leaving with his Grammy; it would take twenty-four hours. He'd just get a couple minutes to say good-bye before the crematory guy shoved his Grammy…

Mike shook his head, carefully getting dressed in his best jeans and a nice shirt. Grammy always told him, when she died, to wear what he was most comfortable in. She wasn't the type to dress fancy, and she didn't expect Mike to be either.

Once he was dressed, he made sure he had his keys and phone (doubling checking where his phone was concerned), before heading out of the apartment, lugging his bike down the stairs. He was walking out of the front entrance, not looking forward to the long bike ride, only to freeze.

"What…?"

"You aren't wearing that are you?" Donna asked from the passenger seat of Harvey's car. The owner, in question, leaned against her door, his arms crossed, wearing a black suit.

"Why are you…?"

"Well, we weren't going to let you do this alone, now were we?" Donna questioned pushing Harvey out of the way so she could get out of the car. She pulled a black bag from the back seat, gesturing Mike to go back inside.

"I don't understand..." Mike hated feeling confused, but that's exactly how he was feeling. He hadn't expected Harvey to show up, let alone Donna.

"I asked when the funeral was," Harvey pointed out, almost as if he read Mike's mind.

"Y-yeah, but I…" Mike let his blue eyes flick between the two, his eyes burning all of a sudden. He ducked his head, taking several breaths to compose himself, before looking up again.

"Let's get you into something more presentable before we leave," Donna suggested after an awkward silence. Mike knew there was no getting around that, so he just nodded and turned to go back inside…

**Suits**

It was a quiet ride to the church. Donna kept looking between Harvey and Mike, not expecting either to say anything. Harvey wasn't exactly a chatty Kathy to begin with (unless he was trying to teach a lesson, prove a point, or piss someone off), and Mike hadn't exactly been a social butterfly since his grandmother's death. But some conversation would have been nice.

They parked in front of a small church a few blocks from Mike's childhood home. It took a lot of digging on Donna's part (she expected a raise), but she found this church. It was the same church Mike's grandmother used to drag him to. Nobody could say she didn't listen to his rambles sometimes.

"Why are we here?" Mike asked clearly confused, his eyebrows furrowed. Donna thought back to a few days ago. Harvey had handed her a note clearly saying:

_Funeral's Wednesday, cremation, make arrangements…_

Any other assistant would have been like: '_Why make arrangements for something already arranged?'_ But she was Donna Ryan, she knew all (or she led everyone to believe she knew all), and she understood what Harvey wanted. He wanted an actual funeral for Mike's grandmother, the good-bye she deserved, not the one Mike could afford. And Donna did as she was instructed.

"You guys shouldn't have done this," Mike said hurriedly, his big brain catching on fairly quickly. "I-it's too much…"

"Get out of the car, kid," Harvey merely responded before getting out himself. Mike glanced back at Donna for a second, she gestured him to follow Harvey, and then he quickly scrambled from the car.

Donna watched him for a second, in the suit she picked out. It fit him well, Donna proud to say she got his sizes down. For a second, she thought she miscalculated, but doubting herself wasn't in her job description, and totally unnecessary.

She followed the two men into the church, watching as Mike took in the room. The room was small, yet spacious. Wide ceilings above them, pews lining either side; a priest stood at the altar, flipping through his Bible, just waiting for them to arrive. And Mike's grandmother's casket lay behind him. It was a plain white (there really wasn't a lot to choose from) and closed.

It had been hard, to get his grandmother out of the funeral home. She wasn't exactly a blood relative, or her next of kin.

It took some major lying, on her part (last she checked she wasn't the wife of one of his uncles), but she finally managed to convince the funeral director to let Margaret Ross be shipped to the church. Of course, she invested a lot of money into the funeral home, too. He probably would have let Donna string Mike's Grammy up and walk her out _Weekend at Bernie's_ style if she so chose once he had cashed the checks. Hell, it was probably the most business that man had had in a long while.

"Hello," the priest said, looking up at their arrival. He walked toward them, holding his hand out. "You must be Mike," he commented shaking the blonde's hand. Mike nodded, his face unsure.

"Good, then we can get started…"

**Suits**

**1997…**

_Harvey managed to get a seat next to his grandmother, Alex was on the other side. Neither brother looked at each other, spoke to each other, or made any attempt to acknowledge the other was there. Harvey wanted to keep it that way, but he knew it was going to be impossible._

_ The funeral wasn't long, though it felt like it should have been days. The whole world should have stopped, took a moment, but it kept turning. The priest said a few things, his grandmother did, his brother, but when it came time for Harvey to say something he just couldn't. He could tell Alex wasn't happy about that, but his brother managed to bite his tongue. Harvey suspected it had something to do with his grandmother._

_ He was on his way out, once the small crowd of mourners had left, following Jessica toward the door, when he heard someone call his name. He turned, Alex starting toward him._

_ "I'll be right outside," Jessica said before continuing toward the door._

_ "Surprised you showed up," Alex said quietly, his eyes still red from the funeral._

_ "Told you I'd be here," Harvey responded equally as quiet, locking eyes on his brother. He looked so much like their father it wasn't funny. Same dark hair, same dark eyes: Harvey never told Alex this, but he envied him sometimes. How close to their dad he was and he didn't even know him._

_ "Kinda hard to take your word for it, when you made the same promise every year." It was a low blow, Harvey knew Alex knew, but Harvey also knew Alex just wasn't in the mood to be remorseful. And honestly, Harvey wasn't exactly in a forgiving mood._

_So, instead of responding, instead of getting into a fight at their mother's funeral, he just turned his back and headed toward the door. "Yeah, that's right Harvey, walk away," Alex called after him, but Harvey didn't stop. He just kept going, ignoring anything else Alex had to say…_

**Suits**

**Present Day…**

Harvey glanced over at Mike, who had had his head down the entire time. Despite his head being down, Harvey still watched silent tears slip down his face. It reminded Harvey of his brother at his mother's funeral.

Just thinking of his mother's funeral brought back what Donna had said the other day. How all this was helping Harvey, too. And maybe it was, maybe it was letting him see what he missed when his mother died. His brother had really needed him, and he had just walked away. All so he could avoid a fight, but since then he hadn't turned his back on any of his problems. He faced them head on, and fought until he couldn't fight no more. Was that his subconscious's way of saying he should have fought, to prove to Alex he was a good big brother, until he couldn't fight anymore?

And maybe that was why he really hired Mike. He saw a kid in need of guidance, help, and it reminded him so strongly of Alex. Alex who only ever wanted his remaining family together, who had a determination Harvey could not match, and who never stopped trying to impress his older brother. That is, until Harvey was hired on at Pearson/Hardman.

It was just like Alex all over again. Mike needed someone to be there for him, he needed someone to take his grandmother's place without really replacing her. But could that be Harvey, could he really be that person for Mike?

The priest wrapped up the service, Mike, Harvey, and Donna stood up. From the corner of his eye, Harvey spotted Rachel sitting in the back and the blonde, Jenny, standing near the door with her arms crossed. They had come to show their support, both caring enough for the associate to do so, and Harvey couldn't help the small, internal smile. _Honestly, how could this kid think he was alone?_

Donna gave Mike a hug, rubbing small circles into his back, murmuring words of comfort. He buried his head into her shoulder, his shoulders jerking as sobs washed over him. Harvey wasn't sure what came over him, let it be the lingering memories from his own past or whatever was in those candles, but he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Donna, barely managing to get both her and Mike into a hug.

"I thought you didn't care," Donna whispered in his ear. He didn't respond, but he couldn't deny that she had a point. _Damn, I hate when she is right…_

**Suits**

"Guys, I swear, this is too much," Mike said as they followed a hearse into a graveyard. They had already put a funeral together, talked a priest into giving a eulogy, this was just pushing it.

"Mike, we figured your grandmother would want to be buried next to your grandfather," Donna said over his protests.

"She did, but…"

"Just accept the fact that we helped you, okay?"

He nodded, pushing the door open and getting out. He wasn't surprised to see Rachel and Jenny weren't there. Both had given him hugs, and then had to get back to work. It was good they both showed up, despite the tension between them. Mike was grateful.

Once the casket was set up and lowered into the ground, Harvey and Donna gave Mike a moment. He stood next to the hole, glancing for a moment at his grandfather's grave marker:

_Henry Michael Ross_

_1932-2001_

_Beloved grandfather and husband. May he rest with the angels and with those who went before him._

He wondered if Donna had gotten the grave marker for his Grammy yet. He hoped she put something nice on it, but then that was the only thing she could have put on it. She didn't know his grandmother well enough to have an opinion of her. Suddenly, Mike hoped she hadn't ordered the grave marker, yet.

"I haven't," Donna said quietly, just behind him. Relief washed through him, and he took a breath.

"I…um…" he was vaguely aware of Donna and Harvey moving toward Harvey's car, leaving him completely alone. "So, I guess this is good-bye." He trailed off, feeling awkward. He thought a minute before taking another breath. "You have always been there for me, no matter what. I know I screwed up a lot…" he sniffed, running his hand across his eyes. "…and I know I didn't always deserve your support, but you gave it to me without a thought. And you loved me unconditionally. And 'thank you' just isn't enough…" he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a tear roll down his face. He opened his eyes, his vision blurring, and whispered, "I love you, Grammy. More than anything in the world, but…" he looked up, spotting Donna and Harvey leaning against the latter's car, speaking quietly to one another. "…but I don't think I'm as alone as I thought…"

He gave the coffin a watery smile before grabbing a handful of dirt. He tossed it into the ground, said one last good-bye, and then trekked across the cemetery. He stopped short of Donna and Harvey, taking a deep breath.

"I'm ready," he said quietly. He got in the back seat, taking one last look at his Grammy's grave, wondering just how in the hell Donna put all this together in two days. She was a mystery, that Donna. And so was Harvey, the real mastermind. Mike had always wanted siblings; it just took impersonating a lawyer for him to get what he wanted. It's funny how that worked…

"What's this crap?" Harvey's voice filled the car after Donna turned the radio on.

"I do believe it's Madonna, Harvey," Donna responded simply, trying to keep the smile off her face.

"You hate Madonna," Harvey pointed out slowly.

"So do you," she replied sparing him a single glance.

"We are not listening to Madonna…" as the bickering continued, Mike laid his head against the car window, a smile on his face. He let his eyes drift closed, falling into his first dreamless sleep in weeks…

**Suits**

**I know this is SUPER late, and I apologize. Another story has taken my time hostage and won't let it go, but I managed to get some of it back. My other stories were feeling neglected :D**

**But I promise the last chapter will be up fairly soon, maybe by next week (if I do not get distracted again).**

**Thank you to everyone who alerted, reviewed, and read last chapter, I still do not own Suits, and drop me a comment if you can.**

**As always: thanks for reading...**

**Bye...**


	9. Epilogue

**One Week Later…**

Mike was just finishing the last of Louis' paperwork (if it wasn't for Harvey, Mike would have become Louis' whipping boy, he should be lucky it was just paperwork), his hand cramped from writing. He put his pen down and flexed his hand into a fist a couple times, hoping to get some feeling back into it. He checked his watch, knowing any second now Donna would be rounding the corner. She had made it a habit of making sure he got home at a decent time, that he didn't run himself into the ground working.

He tried to assure her he wasn't going to resort back to working through his grief. That he was actually doing a lot better, dealing with his Grammy's death in a healthier way. He still missed her; it had been only three weeks of course he missed her, but he knew he wasn't alone now. He could count on Donna and Harvey (even if he kept up the façade that he _didn__'__t _care).

Mike turned his head, still expecting Donna, but froze when Harvey strode toward him. This was a first, usually it was Donna who made sure he got home before the night janitor made his rounds. Not that Harvey didn't find excuses to check on him throughout the day, Mike wasn't stupid, but he saved the nighttime for Donna. Almost as if Donna had monopolized that time of day.

"Where's Donna?" he questioned before he could stop himself.

"She's coming," Harvey responded slowly. "She had to run a few errands for me." It didn't take a genius to figure out the double meaning behind those words. _Harvey_ had made sure she was busy. Why, Mike didn't know.

"So, what's up?" Mike asked turning to face his desk, collecting the files and folders Louis had assigned him.

"How are you?" Harvey responded after a few moments pause. Mike made a show of sorting Louis' paperwork into two piles, keeping his back to his boss. He was coping, better than when he first found out, but still wasn't one-hundred percent okay.

"Fine." Of course, that didn't stop him from giving Harvey a half-assed answer.

"Seriously," Harvey pressed, knowing he was lying. Mike couldn't help cursing Harvey's ability to read people.

He sighed, chewed on his lip for a second, and then turned in his chair. He looked up at Harvey and said, "I'm okay, seriously. I'm still dealing with Grammy's…" he trailed off, taking in a breath. "I'll be fine. I just need time to process this."

"You're damn right you will be," Harvey replied with a nod. He then added on, "You're my associate." It was Harvey Specter's way of saying 'I will help you if you need it.' Mike gave Harvey a small smile, turning back to grab his bag.

"Okay, Harvey," Mike muttered packing up his stuff.

"I hear Donna coming," Harvey said after a few seconds of silence. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mike." He felt a hand rest on his shoulder for a second, and then Harvey was gone.

Mike listened to his retreating footsteps, his smile growing a little. Yeah, he knew he could go to Harvey if he needed him. It was nice to have the support. Even if his support system was a man who hardly let himself feel any type of emotion. And Donna, too, of course...

Mike turned at her approach, giving her a smile. He wouldn't give up either one of them. He couldn't. In the short time he knew them, they had become his family. Grammy may have left him, but she didn't leave him alone…

**Suits**

Harvey returned to his office, closing the door behind him. It was great that Mike was getting better, slowly putting his life back together, and Harvey would be there for him. Like a shadow, but there nonetheless.

The night of Mike's Grammy's funeral, Harvey had dug out some old photo albums. He had flipped through them, remembering a simpler time. Back when he and Alex still talked, back when their mother was still alive.

Those same albums rested in his desk now, a week later. He sat in his chair, digging the books out. He flipped the top one open, looking down at a photo of him and Alex. He remembered that day, his mother having taken the photo with the new camera he and his brother had bought her for her birthday. His arm had rested on his little brother's head, Alex was giving him an semi-annoyed look. The sad part was, a week later the camera ended up getting stolen from their mother's bag when she was taking the train to work.

Harvey shook his head, looking up from the album, his eyes resting on his phone, sitting on his desk. He took a breath, picked it up, and scrolled through his contacts.

He put it to his ear, listening to the phone ring. After three rings a man picked up, "_Hello?__"_

_"_Hey, Alex…"

**THE END...**

**Suits**

**And that is all she wrote...**

**Thanks so, so, so much for the reviews, alerts, and for sticking to this until the end. You guys are awesome and I could never thank you enough :D**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this ending, I leave you all to speculate whether or not Harvey and Alex patch things up, and drop me a comment if you want to.**

**Thanks again for reading :)**

**I own nothing...**

**BYE**


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